I miss sleep!!!

When I had my daughter I was in the hospital for 3 nights, I thought I didn’t sleep well because every 2 hours the nurses would come in to check on us. Then we came home and I found that my daughter wouldn’t sleep in her cradle or in any of her beds. The first few days, she would only sleep if we were holding her. As she got older she would sleep, if we were next to her. This was exhausting. I’m not a great sleeper to start with and babies are loud sleepers. When she first came home her breathing was erratic, which is apparently normal but still very scary. As time went on we came up with a system where one of us would stay with her, to keep her quiet and sleeping while the other would try to get some much needed sleep. This was tough on our relationship we were missing the connection we shared before we had our daughter. We finally decided there had to be a better way. Not long after, we bought a baby swing and it has been a God send. We put her in it and for the first time she slept without laying on us. It was heaven. She started sleeping much better and we started feeling married again. Since then we have moved her into her own room and even into her crib. My daughter sleeps 8 to 12 hours a night and I’m still struggling to sleep. I’m a very light sleeper and she still makes a lot noise and even though she is in her room I can still hear her. My husband works really hard to make sure I get enough sleep but I’m still struggling with it. I can’t wait until I can get a full night of sleep. I really miss sleeping.

Mommy Police

Mommy Police: Why are you letting your baby sleep in her swing; it’s not good for her.

Me: What do you care, she’s my baby and I need to sleep too.

Mommy Police: Well I would never let my baby do that you’re never going to get her to sleep in her bed.

As this conversation is happening mommy police’s child bites another child and steals her toy. This seems to happen to me all the time. Someone who has a horrible child wants to tell me what I’m doing wrong with mine. I have one thing to say to all of these moms that think I’m doing such a bad job, I may be doing a bad job but you have a horrible child and mine is sweet.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that attending to my daughter immediately will make her spoiled. I just don’t care if she’s spoiled I can’t stand to hear a baby cry. If I ruin her that’s really my business. I have to deal with it. I always want to tell these women not to worry, I have bail money set aside for when my daughter does the unthinkable. Mind your own business and I won’t mock you when your child turns our horribly. Okay, I really will mock you but maybe not to your face.

Mandatory Sterilization

Who gets to decide how many children I have or when? Should we be able to sterilize people who can’t afford children? I recently started thinking about how many women I know or have heard of who have babies on WIC and Medicaid. I’m glad it’s there for people who suddenly need it. But I hate that so many people rely on these services for years, and continue to have children. Why should your neighbors have to pay for you to have more children and then we have to pay to feed them and educate them as they grow up. This makes me angry especially when I contemplate just how much it cost to have my daughter.
It cost me close to $5000 to have my daughter. My husband and I have to pay every penny; no one would help us even if we needed it. We would never even consider asking for help (unless it was from our families). We don’t think our neighbors should have to pay for us to have a baby. You don’t get a pet if you can’t afford to pay for it and take care of its needs. Why should you get a baby if you can’t afford to take care of it? It seems like so many people think it’s the tax payer’s job to pay for everything. When did this country turn into a mommy state? I pay 35% (taxes) on my income for schools my daughter will never go to because I want her to actually learn, medical care I will never use because I was taught to work hard and pay for everything myself, and never to rely on anyone to take care of me and my family. I’m frustrated that so many people think I owe them anything. I’m not an indentured servant I don’t owe you anything. It should be my choice to help you when you’re in need, not a requirement. I go to work to feed my family not to take care of yours. If you can’t afford children don’t have them, birth control is free USE IT.


Mama Product of the day:

We brought our daughter home and for the first few weeks we thought she was a good sleeper. At about 6 weeks we started noticing she would only sleep if we help her or let her sleep with us. This was starting to get in the way of our sleeping. when it got really bad and we were told to get a swing and we finally got one. We thank God for it every day since we bought it. My daughter loves this swing it fits well in our house and does everything we could ever hope for.

Death by Baby

One of the most devastating things I have ever dealt with is losing a friend; I don’t mean death although that sucks too. Whenever I have big changes in my life I notice the number of friends I have shrinks drastically. When I got engaged my very best friend  was not happy for me. In fact she stopped returning my phone calls and never wanted to hang out with me. She decided that she could no longer hang out with me because I was not interested in picking up men and staying out all night. Looking back I think our friendship was over a few years prior when I went off to college and she stayed home, but I didn’t know it then, in fact not only did I still think we were best friends I asked her to be my maid of honor. For some reason she agreed and in fact told me she would plan my bridal shower. The only trouble was that she never returned my phone calls so we couldn't plan things for the party or for the wedding. Finally I called her and asked if she wanted another friend of mine to help her out  with the party planning and that threw her over the edge. She ended our friendship right then ( can you imagine the audacity I had asking her if she wanted help I'm such a bitch. I can see why she didn't want to be friends with me) . Less than 2 months before my wedding I needed a new maid of honor who could get things done and quickly. Thankfully another good friend stepped up and my wedding was fantastic. I have spoken to my ex-maid of honor since and frankly I don’t think I’m really missing anything by no longer being friends with her, but it took me years to get to that place. Last time I saw her she was still the same insecure girl I knew in high school trying to get guys to like her by partying and drink and other things I’m sure I don’t want to know about. I tell you this story because I want to illustrate just how dramatically my life changes when I move on to a new stage of life.

Fast forward 5 years to 2009 I got pregnant and had hoped that this time I would not be losing so many friends. Also that I would not lose them in such a dramatic fashion, alas it was not to be. We waited a long time to tell people we were pregnant I don’t think we told any of our friends until I was 18 weeks along. At first all of our friends seemed happy for us and then things started going downhill. One of our friends said she had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years with no success we felt very bad because we had no idea she had been trying. Soon after she started fading from my life slowly at first, with excuses like I’m too busy to hang out or I have a family obligation. This quickly turned into no more contact no matter how hard I tried. I know what you are thinking this is much tamer than what happened the wedding and I say “you’re right but I have more stories that I plan to tell later on in this same blog of more spectacular exits from my life just be patient.” More and more I feel like I’m the titanic as soon as I convince people I’m great and that they want to be my friend my life circumstances change and they go running away from me like I’m a sinking ship. It doesn’t seem to matter much to them if they have a life boat or not they just want to get away from me as quickly as possible. Not long after I had my daughter I went to have lunch with 2 of my girlfriends I hadn’t seen them since just before I got pregnant because they were so busy and family issues. You know how it is when you don’t want to see someone you have the same few excuses that cannot be argued with work, family and prior plans. At lunch things were strained, they had both missed my baby shower for one of the previously stated reasons and neither brought a gift to lunch. Not that I needed gifts just that it’s customary to give them when someone has a baby. Well during the lunch they ignored me completely didn’t ask me about anything that was going on with me it was like I was eating alone. So I got my lunch and I was half way done eating it and they stood up and told me they had to leave, and walked out. I was stuck with the whole bill and have not heard from either of them again. I have gone back and forth wondering if this was because I had a baby of if this was just the fact that they were assholes who didn’t really want to be my friends in the first place. Well I’m just not sure so I’m chalking it up to having a baby.

Don't get pregnant if your not will to lose nearly all your friends.


Mama product of the day:

I love this pillow!! When I came home from the hospital i struggled with nursing. This pillow really helped with placing the baby where she needed to go to nurse. One of the other things I love about this pillow is its flat top. I used another nursing pillow that was round on top and my daughter had a hard time staying on the pillow.

Guns and Babies

Recently a post on my mommy site caught my attention. The woman was complaining that her husband owned guns(he owned them before they got married she stated in her post) and wanted to buy more, and she didn’t want them around her child. She went on to say that guns are horrible and should be outlawed. I have several problems with this women’s post.

The first problem I have is her husband had guns before they were married and asking a spouse to give up something they love is unacceptable to me(unless it's something like prostitutes or drugs). If the gun enthusiasm had happened later I feel she should have more say in gun acquisition. But, it didn’t and once you have one gun you might as well have 8 or 10. Owning more guns does not change the safety concerns. One gun or fifty if you use a gun improperly you’re asking for trouble.

My second problem with this lady’s post is that why is it just her child. It takes two people to make a child (my husband would be super sad if it didn’t). Both people then own the child just because you shoot it out your vagina doesn’t give you ownership. I own my dog and I didn’t birth him, his mother has no right to come take him back or tell me how to raise him. My mother birthed me and then abandoned me, she has no rights where I’m concerned. So I hate women that say things like that, it’s ridiculous. If my husband told me he owned my daughter purely because his sperm made her I would be furious, but I hear women say things like this all the time and it's just wrong. If the man is anything like my husband he pampered me while I carried our daughter. After she was born he was the first to change her diaper and still continues to change the stinky diapers because he knows I have to do it while he works. My husband does everything in his power to take good care of me and my daughter and I think it would be evil if I said, “Baby I know you love your Xbox but I don’t want it around my child it's dangerous so get rid of it.”

My third problem with this women’s post is that your baby isn’t going to accidentally shoot herself until she's 5 or 6. So having a gun in a house with an infant is actually less dangerous than having a big screen in your house. My daughter is more likely to get hurt by a falling TV then a falling gun. Now I understand many of you are thinking. No, this woman is not afraid of the gun falling on her child. She is afraid of her child accidentally shooting herself or someone else. Here are my thoughts on that. Your child acts the way you teach it to act. If you fail to teach your child to be safe, than they will be unsafe this means it’s your fault if your child gets hurt. If you teach your child to look both way’s when they cross the street they will. This will lower their chance of getting hit by a car. In the same way if you teach your child to properly handle or not handle a gun the likelihood of them getting hurt is much lower. Most gun owners keep guns and ammunition separately for safety reasons. they also keep their guns locked up in a gun safe. However you must actually practice what you preach, if you tell your child do not jump off the roof and then you go and do it. It’s not the houses fault your kid got hurt.

In my opinion guns are no more dangerous than the person using them, if you teach safety you get safety. Ultimately I think every American has and should exercise the right to own a gun, but in the end it’s your choice. If you do own a gun please be responsible and teach your child about gun safety. If you’re too stupid to teach your child how to be safe in the world, you shouldn’t have a child and hopefully your child gets caught in the evolution trap. The world doesn't need more stupid.