10 Things no one told me about being a mom

Before I had my daughter everyone I know gave me advice on everything. The advice started with how to be pregnant. I just had to wonder if it could really be as hard as every made it out to be. I mean a drug addicted crack addict can do it how hard can it really be. It really wasn’t that hard I was tired a lot but actually felt great otherwise. The advice toward the end of my pregnancy started to be more about raising my child. I got advice like don’t let your kid be a jack ass. Because I’m going to set out to raise a horrible baby, yep when I got pregnant I told hubby hey let see if we can raise a serial killer, that Dexter seems so nice. This is a list of the top ten things that no ever told me about being a mom.

1. You are always wrong according to everyone who is not parenting your child. I can’t tell you how many people have told you, you're ruining your baby by doing (insert all my bad mommy habits here) . I have heard your daughter will be spoiled because you held her so much among many other way's I'm ruining her. I’m ruining her but everyone who meets her agrees she is the sweetest happiest baby. I must not be doing everything wrong.

2. It would be okay for another human to poo on me or throw up on me. Not long after my daughter was born she stopped going to the bathroom so we took her to the emergency room to have her looked at. They took us back to have her ultra sounded as they did she started to poo and poo so much that it came out of her diaper and down my shirt down my pants and onto the floor. My 6 pound baby had to have had 3 pounds of poo in her. Somehow I was more relieved that she felt better then worried that I was in public cover in bright yellow poo.

3. I never realized how little I actually love my dog. Before I had my daughter I thought I loved my Shih Tzu Batman. Since I’ve had her I realized just how much more I love her than I ever loved my dog. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t send my dog to the pound or anything he just doesn’t get the love and attention he once did. Now he has to run alongside my bike we put the baby in his basket.

4. You don’t have to do everything your pediatrician tells you to do. I chose to push my daughter’s vaccinations back until she was a bit bigger. I did this because I worked with Autistic kids whose parents swear that their kids were fine until they got their vaccinations. I have read all the literature saying that the vaccinations don’t cause Autism, but didn’t the government deny that lead caused cancer for years??? I’m just saying the government doesn’t always admit the truth until it’s too late. I am getting her vaccinations just a bit later so her body can handle them a bit better.

5. Just how wrong baby books can be. Nearly half of the things I read In What to expect when expecting and other baby books was wrong. I know that many of the things were right for other women but just not for me. these books are very alarmist they tell you to basically live in a bubble for nine months or your baby will suffer. I read don’t eat this or your baby will have developmental problems. Don’t exercise or your water will break (not that I was really going to exercise) and your baby will die or at the very least be premature.

6. I never realized that a new baby would refuse to sleep in her own bed. We had a beautiful cradle as well as a crib in her room and when we brought her home she refused to sleep anywhere but right on mine or my husband’s chest.

7. I never realized that I would never eat a hot meal again. My husband and I now eat in shifts. My daughter does not like to be alone, when she is awake she wants to be held and played with which makes eating tough.

8. I thought I was busy before, now I realize just how badly I managed my time. I have come to realized just how lazy I really am. I have also come to realize I have an addiction to shopping and to my sofa. Some people say that QVC is the perfect marriage of these two things but I have yet to become a fan maybe that will come later, every stay at home mom I know LOVES it. Stay tuned for my QVC addiction announcement, I’m sure it’s coming.

9. Babies are just human lumps when they come home no personality and no interaction. We fed Sophie changed her and rocked her to sleep and nothing. She didn’t even open her eyes for a few weeks. It is tough when all they do it cry. The longer we have had her the more animated she gets, which really helps us want to take care of her.

10. You don’t bond with your baby right away. It has taken me weeks to feel a bond with my daughter. When we first brought her home I felt like I had a never ending babysitting job that I wasn’t getting paid for. Bonding seems to be more of a process, the more I get to know my daughter the more I love her.