Adventures in Parenting and Marriage: Grams and ounces
Hi everyone this is my friend David's blog. Please read it and enjoy, it is a great blog!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
10 Things no one told me about being a mom
Before I had my daughter everyone I know gave me advice on everything. The advice started with how to be pregnant. I just had to wonder if it could really be as hard as every made it out to be. I mean a drug addicted crack addict can do it how hard can it really be. It really wasn’t that hard I was tired a lot but actually felt great otherwise. The advice toward the end of my pregnancy started to be more about raising my child. I got advice like don’t let your kid be a jack ass. Because I’m going to set out to raise a horrible baby, yep when I got pregnant I told hubby hey let see if we can raise a serial killer, that Dexter seems so nice. This is a list of the top ten things that no ever told me about being a mom.
1. You are always wrong according to everyone who is not parenting your child. I can’t tell you how many people have told you, you're ruining your baby by doing (insert all my bad mommy habits here). I have heard your daughter will be spoiled because you held her so much among many other way's I'm ruining her. I’m ruining her but everyone who meets her agrees she is the sweetest happiest baby. I must not be doing everything wrong.
2. It would be okay for another human to poo on me or throw up on me. Not long after my daughter was born she stopped going to the bathroom so we took her to the emergency room to have her looked at. They took us back to have her ultra sounded as they did she started to poo and poo so much that it came out of her diaper and down my shirt down my pants and onto the floor. My 6 pound baby had to have had 3 pounds of poo in her. Somehow I was more relieved that she felt better then worried that I was in public cover in bright yellow poo.
3. I never realized how little I actually love my dog. Before I had my daughter I thought I loved my Shih Tzu Batman. Since I’ve had her I realized just how much more I love her than I ever loved my dog. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t send my dog to the pound or anything he just doesn’t get the love and attention he once did. Now he has to run alongside my bike we put the baby in his basket.
4. You don’t have to do everything your pediatrician tells you to do. I chose to push my daughter’s vaccinations back until she was a bit bigger. I did this because I worked with Autistic kids whose parents swear that their kids were fine until they got their vaccinations. I have read all the literature saying that the vaccinations don’t cause Autism, but didn’t the government deny that lead caused cancer for years??? I’m just saying the government doesn’t always admit the truth until it’s too late. I am getting her vaccinations just a bit later so her body can handle them a bit better.
5. Just how wrong baby books can be. Nearly half of the things I read In What to expect when expecting
and other baby books was wrong. I know that many of the things were right for other women but just not for me. these books are very alarmist they tell you to basically live in a bubble for nine months or your baby will suffer. I read don’t eat this or your baby will have developmental problems. Don’t exercise or your water will break (not that I was really going to exercise) and your baby will die or at the very least be premature.
6. I never realized that a new baby would refuse to sleep in her own bed. We had a beautiful cradle as well as a crib in her room and when we brought her home she refused to sleep anywhere but right on mine or my husband’s chest.
7. I never realized that I would never eat a hot meal again. My husband and I now eat in shifts. My daughter does not like to be alone, when she is awake she wants to be held and played with which makes eating tough.
8. I thought I was busy before, now I realize just how badly I managed my time. I have come to realized just how lazy I really am. I have also come to realize I have an addiction to shopping and to my sofa. Some people say that QVC is the perfect marriage of these two things but I have yet to become a fan maybe that will come later, every stay at home mom I know LOVES it. Stay tuned for my QVC addiction announcement, I’m sure it’s coming.
9. Babies are just human lumps when they come home no personality and no interaction. We fed Sophie changed her and rocked her to sleep and nothing. She didn’t even open her eyes for a few weeks. It is tough when all they do it cry. The longer we have had her the more animated she gets, which really helps us want to take care of her.
10. You don’t bond with your baby right away. It has taken me weeks to feel a bond with my daughter. When we first brought her home I felt like I had a never ending babysitting job that I wasn’t getting paid for. Bonding seems to be more of a process, the more I get to know my daughter the more I love her.
1. You are always wrong according to everyone who is not parenting your child. I can’t tell you how many people have told you, you're ruining your baby by doing (insert all my bad mommy habits here)
2. It would be okay for another human to poo on me or throw up on me. Not long after my daughter was born she stopped going to the bathroom so we took her to the emergency room to have her looked at. They took us back to have her ultra sounded as they did she started to poo and poo so much that it came out of her diaper and down my shirt down my pants and onto the floor. My 6 pound baby had to have had 3 pounds of poo in her. Somehow I was more relieved that she felt better then worried that I was in public cover in bright yellow poo.
3. I never realized how little I actually love my dog. Before I had my daughter I thought I loved my Shih Tzu Batman. Since I’ve had her I realized just how much more I love her than I ever loved my dog. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t send my dog to the pound or anything he just doesn’t get the love and attention he once did. Now he has to run alongside my bike we put the baby in his basket.
4. You don’t have to do everything your pediatrician tells you to do. I chose to push my daughter’s vaccinations back until she was a bit bigger. I did this because I worked with Autistic kids whose parents swear that their kids were fine until they got their vaccinations. I have read all the literature saying that the vaccinations don’t cause Autism, but didn’t the government deny that lead caused cancer for years??? I’m just saying the government doesn’t always admit the truth until it’s too late. I am getting her vaccinations just a bit later so her body can handle them a bit better.
5. Just how wrong baby books can be. Nearly half of the things I read In What to expect when expecting
and other baby books was wrong. I know that many of the things were right for other women but just not for me. these books are very alarmist they tell you to basically live in a bubble for nine months or your baby will suffer. I read don’t eat this or your baby will have developmental problems. Don’t exercise or your water will break (not that I was really going to exercise) and your baby will die or at the very least be premature. 6. I never realized that a new baby would refuse to sleep in her own bed. We had a beautiful cradle as well as a crib in her room and when we brought her home she refused to sleep anywhere but right on mine or my husband’s chest.
7. I never realized that I would never eat a hot meal again. My husband and I now eat in shifts. My daughter does not like to be alone, when she is awake she wants to be held and played with which makes eating tough.
8. I thought I was busy before, now I realize just how badly I managed my time. I have come to realized just how lazy I really am. I have also come to realize I have an addiction to shopping and to my sofa. Some people say that QVC is the perfect marriage of these two things but I have yet to become a fan maybe that will come later, every stay at home mom I know LOVES it. Stay tuned for my QVC addiction announcement, I’m sure it’s coming.
9. Babies are just human lumps when they come home no personality and no interaction. We fed Sophie changed her and rocked her to sleep and nothing. She didn’t even open her eyes for a few weeks. It is tough when all they do it cry. The longer we have had her the more animated she gets, which really helps us want to take care of her.
10. You don’t bond with your baby right away. It has taken me weeks to feel a bond with my daughter. When we first brought her home I felt like I had a never ending babysitting job that I wasn’t getting paid for. Bonding seems to be more of a process, the more I get to know my daughter the more I love her.
Damn the Man
Working has been on my mind a lot lately. Many of my friends who had kids around the same time I had my daughter are already back to work. In some ways I envy them they have adult conversation and some day’s when my daughter is screaming I think to myself maybe it would be better to send her to a baby sitter and let her deal with the screaming. Going back to work is never far from my mind, I am never quite sure if I should go back to work or should I stay home with my daughter. Before I got pregnant, I worked a lot. I worked as an accountant at night and an autism therapist by day. It was a lot of work but worth it, I felt very fulfilled and proud of the things I accomplished. Now I get up earlier than I did when I worked and somehow never seem to get everything done. I wonder if I could even handle working full time anymore.
In January, I opened my own business thinking it would be the best of both worlds. I would work from home. It actually doesn’t seem to have been the answer I was looking for. First it is A LOT of work finding clients, then actually doing the work they hired me to do (not enough hours in the day.) After taking care of my daughter, I have almost no free time. I shower and clean my house and that’s about it. I’m a member of a mommy group and they told me about a service called Cha Cha where you can answer questions for money. I thought this would be a great way to earn a little cash. I love shopping for my daughter, but my husband thinks I spend way too much money. To solve this problem I need to earn more money to spend more, it’s supply and demand (Baby’s R Us supplies stuff and they demand cash. Where is that pay with good looks button?) After doing some research I found out how little they actually pay their guides, I decided that this was not the opportunity for me. So where does that leave me you ask, well right now I’m a stay at home mom who does a little work now and then.
Hopefully one day soon I will find a balance that allows me to work a little bit and still stay home with my daughter.
Mama product of the day:
When I got pregnant I was very worried about stretch marks and saggy boobs. My lactation consultant told me about Boob tube I tried in had haven't looked back since. I started using it after the first week i noticed an improvement, my boobs look better than ever. They point north not south and very soft and smooth.
In January, I opened my own business thinking it would be the best of both worlds. I would work from home. It actually doesn’t seem to have been the answer I was looking for. First it is A LOT of work finding clients, then actually doing the work they hired me to do (not enough hours in the day.) After taking care of my daughter, I have almost no free time. I shower and clean my house and that’s about it. I’m a member of a mommy group and they told me about a service called Cha Cha where you can answer questions for money. I thought this would be a great way to earn a little cash. I love shopping for my daughter, but my husband thinks I spend way too much money. To solve this problem I need to earn more money to spend more, it’s supply and demand (Baby’s R Us supplies stuff and they demand cash. Where is that pay with good looks button?) After doing some research I found out how little they actually pay their guides, I decided that this was not the opportunity for me. So where does that leave me you ask, well right now I’m a stay at home mom who does a little work now and then.
Hopefully one day soon I will find a balance that allows me to work a little bit and still stay home with my daughter.
Mama product of the day:
When I got pregnant I was very worried about stretch marks and saggy boobs. My lactation consultant told me about Boob tube I tried in had haven't looked back since. I started using it after the first week i noticed an improvement, my boobs look better than ever. They point north not south and very soft and smooth.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Road to Mommyland
Here is the start of my blogging journey I hope you enjoy it as much as I plan to :-)
In May I gave birth to my daughter Sophia Ann, becoming a mom is the strangest thing I have ever done. When I got pregnant I thought I would have the perfect birth. I would go into the hospital wearing makeup (which I never wear) with perfectly done hair. I would have and easy labor like the ones you see on TV that last like 24 minutes and end up with a baby that looks like an angle from a Raffaello Sanzio painting. However the reality of what happened was very very different. 3 and half weeks before I was supposed to have my daughter I went in for the final fetal scan only to find out I had extremely low water. My doctor sent me to the hospital right away for a c-section. I was very scared I have never had surgery before in my life, or been under anesthesia. Less than an hour after walking into the OR I had my little baby girl. I thought they would put her next to me and we would bond immediately in reality the staff didn't let me see her at all. I was so sad they took her and cleaned her and then sent her to recovery I didn't go into recovery for another 10 minutes. The ten minutes I had to wait for them to sew me up were so long I thought they would never finish. When I got into the recovery room I discovered that they were training a new nurse so they did all the procedures on her twice it was almost an hour before I was actually allowed to hold my daughter I was so frustrated and so was she. Finally I got to hold her it wasn't quite what I expected, no trumpets sounded, no light shown down from the heavens, I could hardly even see her in all the blankets she was wrapped up in. It was like I gave birth to the linens section at Macy’s. I still sometimes feel cheated although my recovery was super quick( I was up and about 6 hours after surgery) and I have a beautiful healthy daughter, I often feel like I haven't quite bonded with her the way I would have if I had pushed her out. I am still struggling to get over my disappointment however everyday I feel like the bond I have with my tiny baby gets stronger.
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