Mandatory Sterilization

Who gets to decide how many children I have or when? Should we be able to sterilize people who can’t afford children? I recently started thinking about how many women I know or have heard of who have babies on WIC and Medicaid. I’m glad it’s there for people who suddenly need it. But I hate that so many people rely on these services for years, and continue to have children. Why should your neighbors have to pay for you to have more children and then we have to pay to feed them and educate them as they grow up. This makes me angry especially when I contemplate just how much it cost to have my daughter.
It cost me close to $5000 to have my daughter. My husband and I have to pay every penny; no one would help us even if we needed it. We would never even consider asking for help (unless it was from our families). We don’t think our neighbors should have to pay for us to have a baby. You don’t get a pet if you can’t afford to pay for it and take care of its needs. Why should you get a baby if you can’t afford to take care of it? It seems like so many people think it’s the tax payer’s job to pay for everything. When did this country turn into a mommy state? I pay 35% (taxes) on my income for schools my daughter will never go to because I want her to actually learn, medical care I will never use because I was taught to work hard and pay for everything myself, and never to rely on anyone to take care of me and my family. I’m frustrated that so many people think I owe them anything. I’m not an indentured servant I don’t owe you anything. It should be my choice to help you when you’re in need, not a requirement. I go to work to feed my family not to take care of yours. If you can’t afford children don’t have them, birth control is free USE IT.


Mama Product of the day:

We brought our daughter home and for the first few weeks we thought she was a good sleeper. At about 6 weeks we started noticing she would only sleep if we help her or let her sleep with us. This was starting to get in the way of our sleeping. when it got really bad and we were told to get a swing and we finally got one. We thank God for it every day since we bought it. My daughter loves this swing it fits well in our house and does everything we could ever hope for.

Death by Baby

One of the most devastating things I have ever dealt with is losing a friend; I don’t mean death although that sucks too. Whenever I have big changes in my life I notice the number of friends I have shrinks drastically. When I got engaged my very best friend  was not happy for me. In fact she stopped returning my phone calls and never wanted to hang out with me. She decided that she could no longer hang out with me because I was not interested in picking up men and staying out all night. Looking back I think our friendship was over a few years prior when I went off to college and she stayed home, but I didn’t know it then, in fact not only did I still think we were best friends I asked her to be my maid of honor. For some reason she agreed and in fact told me she would plan my bridal shower. The only trouble was that she never returned my phone calls so we couldn't plan things for the party or for the wedding. Finally I called her and asked if she wanted another friend of mine to help her out  with the party planning and that threw her over the edge. She ended our friendship right then ( can you imagine the audacity I had asking her if she wanted help I'm such a bitch. I can see why she didn't want to be friends with me) . Less than 2 months before my wedding I needed a new maid of honor who could get things done and quickly. Thankfully another good friend stepped up and my wedding was fantastic. I have spoken to my ex-maid of honor since and frankly I don’t think I’m really missing anything by no longer being friends with her, but it took me years to get to that place. Last time I saw her she was still the same insecure girl I knew in high school trying to get guys to like her by partying and drink and other things I’m sure I don’t want to know about. I tell you this story because I want to illustrate just how dramatically my life changes when I move on to a new stage of life.

Fast forward 5 years to 2009 I got pregnant and had hoped that this time I would not be losing so many friends. Also that I would not lose them in such a dramatic fashion, alas it was not to be. We waited a long time to tell people we were pregnant I don’t think we told any of our friends until I was 18 weeks along. At first all of our friends seemed happy for us and then things started going downhill. One of our friends said she had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years with no success we felt very bad because we had no idea she had been trying. Soon after she started fading from my life slowly at first, with excuses like I’m too busy to hang out or I have a family obligation. This quickly turned into no more contact no matter how hard I tried. I know what you are thinking this is much tamer than what happened the wedding and I say “you’re right but I have more stories that I plan to tell later on in this same blog of more spectacular exits from my life just be patient.” More and more I feel like I’m the titanic as soon as I convince people I’m great and that they want to be my friend my life circumstances change and they go running away from me like I’m a sinking ship. It doesn’t seem to matter much to them if they have a life boat or not they just want to get away from me as quickly as possible. Not long after I had my daughter I went to have lunch with 2 of my girlfriends I hadn’t seen them since just before I got pregnant because they were so busy and family issues. You know how it is when you don’t want to see someone you have the same few excuses that cannot be argued with work, family and prior plans. At lunch things were strained, they had both missed my baby shower for one of the previously stated reasons and neither brought a gift to lunch. Not that I needed gifts just that it’s customary to give them when someone has a baby. Well during the lunch they ignored me completely didn’t ask me about anything that was going on with me it was like I was eating alone. So I got my lunch and I was half way done eating it and they stood up and told me they had to leave, and walked out. I was stuck with the whole bill and have not heard from either of them again. I have gone back and forth wondering if this was because I had a baby of if this was just the fact that they were assholes who didn’t really want to be my friends in the first place. Well I’m just not sure so I’m chalking it up to having a baby.

Don't get pregnant if your not will to lose nearly all your friends.


Mama product of the day:

I love this pillow!! When I came home from the hospital i struggled with nursing. This pillow really helped with placing the baby where she needed to go to nurse. One of the other things I love about this pillow is its flat top. I used another nursing pillow that was round on top and my daughter had a hard time staying on the pillow.

Guns and Babies

Recently a post on my mommy site caught my attention. The woman was complaining that her husband owned guns(he owned them before they got married she stated in her post) and wanted to buy more, and she didn’t want them around her child. She went on to say that guns are horrible and should be outlawed. I have several problems with this women’s post.

The first problem I have is her husband had guns before they were married and asking a spouse to give up something they love is unacceptable to me(unless it's something like prostitutes or drugs). If the gun enthusiasm had happened later I feel she should have more say in gun acquisition. But, it didn’t and once you have one gun you might as well have 8 or 10. Owning more guns does not change the safety concerns. One gun or fifty if you use a gun improperly you’re asking for trouble.

My second problem with this lady’s post is that why is it just her child. It takes two people to make a child (my husband would be super sad if it didn’t). Both people then own the child just because you shoot it out your vagina doesn’t give you ownership. I own my dog and I didn’t birth him, his mother has no right to come take him back or tell me how to raise him. My mother birthed me and then abandoned me, she has no rights where I’m concerned. So I hate women that say things like that, it’s ridiculous. If my husband told me he owned my daughter purely because his sperm made her I would be furious, but I hear women say things like this all the time and it's just wrong. If the man is anything like my husband he pampered me while I carried our daughter. After she was born he was the first to change her diaper and still continues to change the stinky diapers because he knows I have to do it while he works. My husband does everything in his power to take good care of me and my daughter and I think it would be evil if I said, “Baby I know you love your Xbox but I don’t want it around my child it's dangerous so get rid of it.”

My third problem with this women’s post is that your baby isn’t going to accidentally shoot herself until she's 5 or 6. So having a gun in a house with an infant is actually less dangerous than having a big screen in your house. My daughter is more likely to get hurt by a falling TV then a falling gun. Now I understand many of you are thinking. No, this woman is not afraid of the gun falling on her child. She is afraid of her child accidentally shooting herself or someone else. Here are my thoughts on that. Your child acts the way you teach it to act. If you fail to teach your child to be safe, than they will be unsafe this means it’s your fault if your child gets hurt. If you teach your child to look both way’s when they cross the street they will. This will lower their chance of getting hit by a car. In the same way if you teach your child to properly handle or not handle a gun the likelihood of them getting hurt is much lower. Most gun owners keep guns and ammunition separately for safety reasons. they also keep their guns locked up in a gun safe. However you must actually practice what you preach, if you tell your child do not jump off the roof and then you go and do it. It’s not the houses fault your kid got hurt.

In my opinion guns are no more dangerous than the person using them, if you teach safety you get safety. Ultimately I think every American has and should exercise the right to own a gun, but in the end it’s your choice. If you do own a gun please be responsible and teach your child about gun safety. If you’re too stupid to teach your child how to be safe in the world, you shouldn’t have a child and hopefully your child gets caught in the evolution trap. The world doesn't need more stupid.

Adventures in Parenting and Marriage: Grams and ounces

Adventures in Parenting and Marriage: Grams and ounces


Hi everyone this is my friend David's blog. Please read it and enjoy, it is a great blog!

10 Things no one told me about being a mom

Before I had my daughter everyone I know gave me advice on everything. The advice started with how to be pregnant. I just had to wonder if it could really be as hard as every made it out to be. I mean a drug addicted crack addict can do it how hard can it really be. It really wasn’t that hard I was tired a lot but actually felt great otherwise. The advice toward the end of my pregnancy started to be more about raising my child. I got advice like don’t let your kid be a jack ass. Because I’m going to set out to raise a horrible baby, yep when I got pregnant I told hubby hey let see if we can raise a serial killer, that Dexter seems so nice. This is a list of the top ten things that no ever told me about being a mom.

1. You are always wrong according to everyone who is not parenting your child. I can’t tell you how many people have told you, you're ruining your baby by doing (insert all my bad mommy habits here) . I have heard your daughter will be spoiled because you held her so much among many other way's I'm ruining her. I’m ruining her but everyone who meets her agrees she is the sweetest happiest baby. I must not be doing everything wrong.

2. It would be okay for another human to poo on me or throw up on me. Not long after my daughter was born she stopped going to the bathroom so we took her to the emergency room to have her looked at. They took us back to have her ultra sounded as they did she started to poo and poo so much that it came out of her diaper and down my shirt down my pants and onto the floor. My 6 pound baby had to have had 3 pounds of poo in her. Somehow I was more relieved that she felt better then worried that I was in public cover in bright yellow poo.

3. I never realized how little I actually love my dog. Before I had my daughter I thought I loved my Shih Tzu Batman. Since I’ve had her I realized just how much more I love her than I ever loved my dog. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t send my dog to the pound or anything he just doesn’t get the love and attention he once did. Now he has to run alongside my bike we put the baby in his basket.

4. You don’t have to do everything your pediatrician tells you to do. I chose to push my daughter’s vaccinations back until she was a bit bigger. I did this because I worked with Autistic kids whose parents swear that their kids were fine until they got their vaccinations. I have read all the literature saying that the vaccinations don’t cause Autism, but didn’t the government deny that lead caused cancer for years??? I’m just saying the government doesn’t always admit the truth until it’s too late. I am getting her vaccinations just a bit later so her body can handle them a bit better.

5. Just how wrong baby books can be. Nearly half of the things I read In What to expect when expecting and other baby books was wrong. I know that many of the things were right for other women but just not for me. these books are very alarmist they tell you to basically live in a bubble for nine months or your baby will suffer. I read don’t eat this or your baby will have developmental problems. Don’t exercise or your water will break (not that I was really going to exercise) and your baby will die or at the very least be premature.

6. I never realized that a new baby would refuse to sleep in her own bed. We had a beautiful cradle as well as a crib in her room and when we brought her home she refused to sleep anywhere but right on mine or my husband’s chest.

7. I never realized that I would never eat a hot meal again. My husband and I now eat in shifts. My daughter does not like to be alone, when she is awake she wants to be held and played with which makes eating tough.

8. I thought I was busy before, now I realize just how badly I managed my time. I have come to realized just how lazy I really am. I have also come to realize I have an addiction to shopping and to my sofa. Some people say that QVC is the perfect marriage of these two things but I have yet to become a fan maybe that will come later, every stay at home mom I know LOVES it. Stay tuned for my QVC addiction announcement, I’m sure it’s coming.

9. Babies are just human lumps when they come home no personality and no interaction. We fed Sophie changed her and rocked her to sleep and nothing. She didn’t even open her eyes for a few weeks. It is tough when all they do it cry. The longer we have had her the more animated she gets, which really helps us want to take care of her.

10. You don’t bond with your baby right away. It has taken me weeks to feel a bond with my daughter. When we first brought her home I felt like I had a never ending babysitting job that I wasn’t getting paid for. Bonding seems to be more of a process, the more I get to know my daughter the more I love her.

Damn the Man

Working has been on my mind a lot lately. Many of my friends who had kids around the same time I had my daughter are already back to work. In some ways I envy them they have adult conversation and some day’s when my daughter is screaming I think to myself maybe it would be better to send her to a baby sitter and let her deal with the screaming. Going back to work is never far from my mind, I am never quite sure if I should go back to work or should I stay home with my daughter. Before I got pregnant, I worked a lot. I worked as an accountant at night and an autism therapist by day. It was a lot of work but worth it, I felt very fulfilled and proud of the things I accomplished. Now I get up earlier than I did when I worked and somehow never seem to get everything done. I wonder if I could even handle working full time anymore.

In January, I opened my own business thinking it would be the best of both worlds. I would work from home. It actually doesn’t seem to have been the answer I was looking for. First it is A LOT of work finding clients, then actually doing the work they hired me to do (not enough hours in the day.)  After taking care of my daughter, I have almost no free time. I shower and clean my house and that’s about it. I’m a member of a mommy group and they told me about a service called Cha Cha where you can answer questions for money. I thought this would be a great way to earn a little cash. I love shopping for my daughter, but my husband thinks I spend way too much money. To solve this problem I need to earn more money to spend more, it’s supply and demand (Baby’s R Us supplies stuff and they demand cash. Where is that pay with good looks button?)  After doing some research I found out how little they actually pay their guides, I decided that this was not the opportunity for me. So where does that leave me you ask, well right now I’m a stay at home mom who does a little work now and then.
Hopefully one day soon I will find a balance that allows me to work a little bit and still stay home with my daughter.


Mama product of the day:
When I got pregnant I was very worried about stretch marks and saggy boobs. My lactation consultant told me about Boob tube I tried in had haven't looked back since. I started using it after the first week i noticed an improvement, my boobs look better than ever. They point north not south and very soft and smooth.

Road to Mommyland

Here is the start of my blogging journey I hope you enjoy it as much as I plan to :-)

In May I gave birth to my daughter Sophia Ann, becoming a mom is the strangest thing I have ever done. When I got pregnant I thought I would have the perfect birth. I would go into the hospital wearing makeup (which I never wear) with perfectly done hair. I would have and easy labor like the ones you see on TV that last like 24 minutes and end up with a baby that looks like an angle from a Raffaello Sanzio painting. However the reality of what happened was very very different. 3 and half weeks before I was supposed to have my daughter I went in for the final fetal scan only to find out I had extremely low water. My doctor sent me to the hospital right away for a c-section. I was very scared I have never had surgery before in my life, or been under anesthesia. Less than an hour after walking into the OR I had my little baby girl. I thought they would put her next to me and we would bond immediately in reality the staff didn't let me see her at all. I was so sad they took her and cleaned her and then sent her to recovery I didn't go into recovery for another 10 minutes. The ten minutes I had to wait for them to sew me up were so long I thought they would never finish. When I got into the recovery room I discovered that they were training a new nurse so they did all the procedures on her twice it was almost an hour before I was actually allowed to hold my daughter I was so frustrated and so was she. Finally I got to hold her it wasn't quite what I expected, no trumpets sounded, no light shown down from the heavens, I could hardly even see her in all the blankets she was wrapped up in. It was like I gave birth to the linens section at Macy’s. I still sometimes feel cheated although my recovery was super quick( I was up and about 6 hours after surgery) and I have a beautiful healthy daughter, I often feel like I haven't quite bonded with her the way I would have if I had pushed her out. I am still struggling to get over my disappointment however everyday I feel like the bond I have with my tiny baby gets stronger.