Parenting Redefined: Letters from Baby: Please don't let me cry

Reading this made me cry looking at things from a baby's viewpoint makes things look very different.


Parenting Redefined: Letters from Baby: Please don't let me cry: "After reading many responses to this blog post, I just want to say that it is not my intent for this to be a complete debate on the merits o..."

Christmas Presents

This time of year is crazy figuring out what to get everyone on my list is a pain in the rear. I have the family that has everything they want and hates everything else. So this year I resolved to shop early and try not to stress about it. My motto was going to be “you get what you get and don’t throw a fit” like we taught the kids I used to work with. Well that was all great in theory but in my heart I always want everyone to like what I get them so it’s really not that easy to just not stress about what to get everyone. So I did what I do every year I stress and wake up in the middle of the night trying to make sure everyone gets just the right gift. I’m not going to say what I got everyone since most read this blog. But my point is that when did Christmas become so hard.  I miss the days when I was younger and no one expected a great present it was just exciting to get anything from me.  One of the most exciting things for me this year is getting presents for my daughter, she is already excited by wrapping paper so opening her presents should be exciting for me.

Santa

This weekend we did what all first time parents look forward to doing we took our daughter to see Santa at the mall. I was a little worried because my whole family has been pretty sick (Thanksgiving takes a lot out of us).  We decided to take a chance and head over to the mall if we didn’t do it this weekend my husband may not have been able to go with us since this time of year work is super busy for him. So we bundled her up in a super cute dress her great aunt gave her and we were off. Sadly when we first got to the mall Santa was on a break. So we walked around for about an hour and went back by this time my daughter was feeling a little tired so I wasn’t sure how well she was going to do. Well we got to Santa and she just lit up she loved him. She was all smiles and beard tugs awesome experience.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!!!!!

One of the big life changes we are dealing with now is learning how to change the way we do things, especially for the holidays. We used to be able to pick up and go whenever we wanted now we have to make sure the baby gets her nap and we have all her crap ready. One of the things that is really changing is how we celebrate holiday’s  since we got together, wow, 8 years ago (has it really been that long? Where does the time go?) we used to go back and forth between the families first to my husband’s family since they do things earlier in the day and then to my families. This always made for a very long day and a lot of driving.  We have decided to start doing everything at our house. We made this choice for a few reasons the first being that both of our families are super small so it seems silly to drive from on to the other when they could be held together and save a lot of time and a lot of calories. We also decided that staying home would be easier when we first got pregnant we realized that transporting a baby was going to be a lot of work just based to the amount of stuff they need. Once we had the baby we knew that going anywhere with our daughter was going to be a HUGE amount of work. She does not like the car which makes it difficult to go anywhere. She does not take formula well so I have to make sure we have enough milk to make it though the outing which can cause a whole host of other problems.  We will see how this holiday season turns out hopefully better than it has started.  This week is all about being thankful, so this week I’m going to work really hard to be thankful for the good and the bad since without the bad I wouldn’t have anything to complain about when things are good.  This week I’m going to write posts about things I’m thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!!

I'm Back!!!!!

I’m very glad to be back I hope you all missed me as much as I missed writing this blog. I took some time off of writing this blog because I was angry and didn’t really have anything nice to say.  Don’t worry I wasn’t angry and my daughter. I was angry and all the people in my life who feel like I am a door mat to just walk right over, and then get angry with me when I have the nerve to say something about it. I have purchased a very lovely step stool to help myself get the heck over it.

Since my last post my daughter has perfected sitting which is crazy for me to watch. We used to sit her on the sofa a prop pillows next to her and pray she didn’t fall over now she doesn’t even need the pillows I still put them around her just to make sure she doesn’t roll off the sofa that happened once and it was horrible thank God our sofa isn’t very high off the ground or she might have gotten hurtL. Now I can sit her on the floor and she will just play with her toys cute as can be.  She has also perfected rolling over both ways which is awesome because her main goal is to get to the dog. She has learned that if she doesn’t make a lot of noise she can roll to him and grab his fluff which let me tell you it is super funny. As soon as she gets her little hand around his fluff he jumps up super fast and starts licking her and that makes her just crack up. I help her sneak up on Batman now and then because I just find it so funny. I wish I could get a video of it to post you would just crack up.

This is Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, this year I got to experience it as a mother and let me tell you it was fantastic. My daughter looked so cute in her little flower costume. We walked around the neighborhood and visited the neighbors who all oooed and awed over how cute she looked. My mother in law came over and brought pie (how can you go wrong with pie, I just don’t think that you can.).  We hung out and gave out candy it was perfect. I can’t wait to experience Christmas. All those boxes and wrapping paper for my daughter to get into that is going to be one heck of a day.

Getting to know me

I saw another blogger doing this and I thought it would be a great idea for my readers that don’t know me or don’t know me well to get to see something like this so here goes.

1. Tell me something obvious about you. – I wear glasses
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know. – I am allergic to cats
3. What is your biggest fear? – Failure
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut? - Safe Route
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money. - Brains
6. What is your most treasured possession? - My daughter
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often? - I’m critical… I keep my criticism to myself mostly but in my head I’m always thinking about the stupid choices people make.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell? - I don't lie
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again. -  kayaking
12. Are you the jealous type? - Of some things, its’ not always predictable either but for the most part I’m happy when good things happen to other people
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to? - Anyone asking me for help
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?  - Taken care of me when I was sick
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be? - Buy a new car
16. When was the last time you cried? - I cry all the time it’s like my fourth favorite thing to do.

17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered? - I don’t think this has ever happened I am always worried about something.
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on? - While I look great with no shirt on I wouldn’t want to be in public like that.
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.- I’m an awesome drunk I never do anything embarrassing

Push Present

So I’m reading on my mommy website and I see a post about a “push present” which is apparently a present for having a baby. This gift is supposed to be from the husband as a way to say thank you for caring and giving birth to our child. I’m not sure how often this actually happens or what most women get but the ladies on this site get great stuff they seemed to get cars, jewelry , and purses among other things but wow that’s good stuff.

 I’m thinking my husband must not be very grateful since not only did I not get a push present but I gave birth 2 days before mother’s day and I didn’t even get a mother’s day card from my husband .  To be fair I wasn’t supposed to have our daughter until 3 and half weeks later, but he could have found time to buy a card.

Some of the women on my mommy website I think are just bitter about life. This post about the “push present” was supposed to be fun and a bunch of women are calling these presents selfish. I keep asking myself how in the world a gift could be selfish but I just haven’t been able to figure it out. I think a lot of it is jealousy because their husbands didn’t get them anything. I have to admit I’m jealous but I still think it’s a very sweet gesture especially if it’s not demanded or strongly hinted at and it comes from his heart. I don’t think anything could be sweeter than a man saying thank you for making me a daddy.  

This is Halloween

One of the best things about a new baby is experiencing things you have always loved with your child. My daughter is only 6 months old but already it is super fun doing things with her and watching her reaction.  Every year Halloween is one of the holidays we enjoy most, we love all of the holidays; but Halloween is the one with the most fun and least amount of family obligation, it’s all ours and we love it. This year we planned to scale back our Halloween because let’s face it we are tired all the time. We normally do a huge grave yard scene in our front yard topped off with lots of fog bubbles it’s awesome. Setting it up and keeping it going throughout the night takes dedication and this year we decided we just didn’t have enough energy to do it, but we did go to our favorite pumpkin patch for pumpkins and  I we had so much fun dragging our daughter all around and having her look at everything. Our pumpkin patch is like a small carnival it has rides, games and many animals. We got Sophia a pumpkin but she was so tired she didn't pay much attention to it at first. When we brought her home we let her play with it, she loved it! She sat there holding on to it and smiling at it, she really wanted to put it in her mouth but it is too heavy for her to lift. I am looking forward to dressing her up and taking her to visit all the neighbors it’s going to be a great Halloween. I get the feeling its going to be a great holiday season.

God Hate

I read a lot of blogs and a lot of posts on a mommy website. One of the things I have noticed is that it’s wrong or racist or intolerant if you disagree with many issues these days but the one constant is that is fine to bash God and Christianity. Why is it that these are the only things you can hate? I see those coexist bumper stickers and it’s almost always these people who are bashing God. Why do Christians have to be tolerant of things they disagree with but no one has to respect our beliefs?  I don’t understand how tolerance does not extend to Christians. I recently heard that it’s my job to change the face of Christianity because it’s my religion then it’s the Muslims job to change the face of Islam because of what the terrorist do. Not all Italians are mobsters and we all accept that this isn’t the way the whole Italian population lives and acts. This is a ridiculous notion everyone knows and accepts that not all Muslims are like the terrorists, that why is it different for Christians? Why do so many people care what my religion is and what I believe it doesn’t affect you?  If you don’t want to be treated poorly don’t treat me this way and for all of you on these boards bashing God and Christianity maybe you should take a good long look at your hate and intolerance and see what your teaching your kids.

 So I posted this on my mommy website where I’m reading all the hate and boy you would have thought I called someone’s baby ugly. Man I got a lot of anger which is interesting because it is from women that tell themselves they are open minded, funny how that works. I’m open minded as long as you agree with me.

Modern Medicine

Growing up I was always taught that pain is weakness.  My family looks down upon anyone who is ill or has a chronic health problem, whether or not its self created.  It was never okay to be sick.  So I was never sick.  I learned to just act like I was well until I was either feeling better or until I was too sick to cover it up.  I didn’t realize this was not how most people acted until I was much older.  As a result I think two things really happened.  One I am a lot less sick than most other people I have ever met.  The second is that I feel like a failure when I’m sick.  I found out in high school that I have a thyroid problem which really didn’t sit well with my family.  They didn’t really seem to want to understand what the problem was or how to treat it.  The doctor gave me a prescription and after that it was never mentioned again.  As I got older I found that nothing had really changed and started to explore what was going on.  The summer I turned 26 I was planning to have my wisdom teeth out (not looking forward to it).  I went in and they did all the pre-testing before they put you under and the doctor told me no way he was getting anywhere near me.  My blood pressure was so high that he wanted to hospitalize me.  I convinced him not to and that I would see a doctor the next day.  I did and that is the day my life changed (for the better).  I found that my thyroid problem was in no way controlled and had led to very high blood pressure (it was at levels that can cause a stroke).  The doctor put me on medication that day and it was remarkable how quickly I felt better.  Looking at my daughter today I am so grateful that I finally had to confront my medical issues.  Most women with thyroid problems as bad as mine are unable to get pregnant.  In my mind my daughter is a miracle that almost wasn’t.  I still struggle to accept that medical problems happen and they are nothing to be ashamed of, but when I look at my daughter, I thank God for modern medicine.



Mama Product of the Day:

This blanket is fabulous!!  We bought it just after our daughter was born and she slept much better wrapped in it. We stopped swaddling when she was about 3 months old because we thought she had outgrown it, but have recently started up again. This blanket has made the transition from newborn to larger baby very nicely.  We are able to wrap her up securely and it is darn cute. It’s a light weight material that works great in any weather I put her in a onsie normally but if it’s too hot just a diaper, if it’s cold I add socks.

Tummy Sleeping

Last night was one of the worst nights we have had since we had our daughter. Sophia has mastered rolling over and has started practicing in her bed. She has never completely rolled over while in bed we keep her swaddled to help keep her asleep. Normally this just makes sure none of us gets any sleep. Well last night she started making noise and I went in to check on her and I didn’t feel her breath. I freaked out I ran and got my w and found that the reason I couldn’t feel her breath was because she was actually on her tummy.   This seemed to work out for about an hour and then she wanted to turn over, turns out she was stuck. This continued all night so none of us slept.  I can’t believe how much she wants to move around doesn’t she know she needs to sleep. Doesn’t she know that I need to sleep? I don’t think she knows or cares that my husband and I don’t sleep. I’m hoping she stops all this rolling around and waking up soon otherwise I’m going to either go crazy or hire a night nanny.

Priorities

There are those people in your life that you can always count on to eat your food and drink your beer but will never do the same for you. I think I find more than my share of these people. I can always count on a few things one that I (or my husband) will be considered 24 hour on call IT department. I can always assume that my life and or plans are not important; I should be able to drop everything at a moment’s notice to do whatever they want to do. I can always count on not getting listened to. I can always count on not getting a call about cancelled plans or about running late. I have to admit that if there is an inconsiderate person within a 50 mile radius, I suddenly feel the need to make friends with them or am related to them.  It’s not really that I mind helping out or even that I’m not really on top of anyone’s list (accept my husband). My real problem is the sense of entitlement that people have toward me. Why do I owe you my time, resources or knowledge?   Now that I have a daughter my priorities are very different. I am working on using the word no a lot more. It is not going well people do not seem to understand that I have other things to do than take care of their issues.

Angry Woman

Yesterday, I went to the Ob’s office to get my shot of depo. I had to take my daughter because my husband was at work normally she is really good but she was hungry and started (whimpering not loudly) while I was making my appointment for the next shot. I should say that my doctors office is very friendly  I always spend 5-10 minutes chatting before making my appointment so while this is going on I start to feed my daughter who is still fussy (but not loud).  An older women about 50ish walked up to the front counter and started yelling at the women at the desk and me from my daughter making too much noise for her. There was also a child in the waiting room crying but he hadn’t been crying for long. She was really mean and demanded that the women at the desk tell her when there would be no babies in the waiting room. They told her that they were an ob office and they couldn’t tell when they would have babies in I cannot repeat the things she said to them. Was appalled at how rude this woman was to these women who couldn’t really do anything. The doctor’s office was very nice to her surprisingly so I would have told her where she could take her attitude. They offered her the name of a doctor that didn’t have as many children in the practice. She decided to stay for her appointment but was rude the whole time.

Got Milk?

My daughter has had gas since we brought her home.  I always thought it was much worse than it should be but the doctor said nothing to worry about as long as she doesn’t have blood in her poo. Well to be honest I still thought something was wrong but figured it must not be to bad or she would have worse symptoms. So I did some research and found that she would have a mucusy poo if she was struggling with dairy. I’m going to be honest my books say look for a mucousy poo but what does that really look like? I don’t know so we have spent the last few weeks trying to figure that out and finally we are pretty sure we know and yes she is struggling with dairy and maybe soy. It will be much harder for me to give up soy so I’m just giving up dairy and the moment and hoping that will fix the problem.  How is it that dairy is in everything? It’s like vermin it just creeps up on you and gets into every nook and cranny. Did you know that there is dairy in top ramen? Also dairy in my canned tuna and in soy cheese which I thought would be dairy free, since my vegan cousin eats it but nope it contains milk protein which seems to defeat the purpose of being dairy free. I feel more and more for those who are casein free due to an allergy, they are sneaky with it. Thankfully I don’t think my daughter has an allergy just and intolerance that she should grow out of. But wow those with an allergy really have to be careful it’s milky out there.

Top 10 things I didn’t know were a problem

So this was going to be a top ten list but this was so crazy I didn’t think anything could even compete with it so it stands alone. 1. I had no idea this would ever be a problem. I had no idea sperm clogged up drains but then again it’s been causing women trouble for years.

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this picture. I just can't imagine this actually being a problem. how much masturbating do you have to do to have this type of problem? I went to college with a lot of horny guy's that did a a lot of crazy stuff and we never had problems like this at my dorms.

Whore for a day

I LOVE Halloween its one of my favorite holiday’s, I just love dressing up, the decorations and candy. This year I get to dress my daughter up, I’m super excited. We first start with a family theme then it’s all about the costume. We picked our family theme and  so we started looking for our costumes a few weeks ago.  As I looked through all the costumes I noticed that once you get out of baby costumes all the little girl costumes are pretty slutty. I know that we are fairly conservative but WOW I’m appalled by a lot of the costumes they have out for little girls.  I don’t think any baby as small as mine needs to be showing wearing something this sexy/suggestive EVER.  My daughter would have to have a shirt under and tights on to make a lot of the costumes I looked at in any way acceptable. I don’t think my daughter should be wearing anything suggestive until she is 22 and even then I wouldn’t like it, don’t get me wrong I don’t think that all people who wear suggestive clothing are whores, I do it myself. My problem is that we as a culture are dressing out little girls like much older women. I think it’s sad that we have to push our little girls into dressing this way, no wonder there are so many teen pregnancies. We are not teaching our kids to take the world on slowly, which is much better for our daughters and even our sons.

Sleeping with the fishes

5 years ago my husband and I decided to buy a house (condo) we scoured South Orange country in hopes of finding a place we could actually both live in and we could afford.  We had the help of a very interesting real estate agent.  In the end we bought a town house in Lake Forest.  Fast forward to today our home is worth WAY less then we paid for it L but we would really like to refinance to the lower interest rates of today.  Well since we owe more on our house than it worth and we refuse to stop paying our mortgage (sadly yes this was advice that we got).  We thought our dreams of a lower mortgage payment were over until we met Katrina Idstein who has been fabulous at helping try to find a program that will help us out.  If you are in a similar boat give her a call 562-833-3673. If anyone can help you she can.  One of the best things I can say about her is that she actually seems to want to help.  Most people we talked to didn’t even seem to want to do anything.  If you are looking for someone to discuss options with that actually seems to know what they’re doing Katrina is the one to call.

Sleep Sack

This weekend I realized that while my daughter doesn’t like to be swaddled she does want to be wrapped up in a very tight burrito like wrap.  To help this along, I decided that I would make her a sleep sack.  I thought to myself this won’t be too hard.  I quilt, how much different can it be.  And to my surprise everything seemed to go really well until the zipper.  Wow, I did not know how much trouble one little zipper would give me.  After about an hour I conquered the zipper and I was so proud of my accomplishment.  I stuck my daughter into her new sleep sac immediately.  She didn’t seem to mind it so I thought this will work out just as well as wrapping her up.  So bed time came and we got her all ready then I brought out her new sleep sack and put her in it again.  She didn’t seem to mind it much. I laid her in bed only to realize my mistake.  It was like a toy for her.  She would kick her feet to see the material move…. Not what I had planned at all.  I thought maybe it was just the novelty of her new sleep sack, nope twenty minutes later she was still kicking her feet only now she was crying too because she was sleepy and just couldn’t calm down enough to go to sleep.  Sleep sack was not the answer to my prayers L but I wrapped her up like a burrito and within a minute she was asleep.  So I wasted all that time and energy and an adorable sleep sack only to find that my daughter would have rather I just wrapped her up in the material.  I guess this experience is much like the Christmas day cardboard box problem.

Babes in Toyland

One of the things I never have to worry about is that my daughter won’t want to play with me. She always wants to play or chat (really anything that isn’t sleep, she is up for.).  While I enjoy playing with my daughter I don’t have time to play with her all day every day. I have started trying to get her to play with toys and she will for a few minutes at a time but not very long (about as long as it takes to pee). Something I have noticed is that there really aren’t that many toys made for 4 month old babies that they can actually play with. The same with teething rings, they are so big they can’t even fit in her mouth. How is this effective pain relief? If it doesn’t fit in her mouth they are just ridiculously expensive pieces of plastic.  I feel like toys at this age are really just a huge waste of money. We have bought so many expensive toys that she could care less about. You know what she likes, this stupid little ball. I feel like she likes it, because it’s one of the few things she can actually pick up and put in her mouth. They make baby toys as big as the baby; seriously she has this elephant that is as big as she is. How is she supposed to play with it?  I have no idea how she is supposed to manipulate these things I understand you don’t want babies to have toys that they can choke on, but they should be able to hold them in their hands.  She does seem to like her hands but I just can’t seem to let myself leave her alone with just her hands to entertain her. I absolutely refuse to sit her in front of the TV I’m keeping the TV in my back pocket for when she gets older. If she gets used to watching it now it won’t be so exciting when I let her watch it later. I just wish toy makers would make toys my daughter actually wants to play with.

It takes 2

Why do women think giving birth is the be all to end all?  I carried a child and birthed her.  Granted she did not slide out of my hoo-hoo, it was still a tough thing have her ripped out of me.   Still one of the things I hate to hear is a woman say it’s my child I delivered her.  You never hear a man say that’s my child I provide the sperm to make her, you know why because it’s ridiculous.  Getting pregnant does not entitle you to be a bitch for 9 months.  Sure your husband should take care of the things that get harder for you and be understanding, but a baby should not give you the right to make your husband your slave.  Along the same lines, birthing a child does not give you the soul right to dictate who can see that child and when they can see them (unless your divorced and have a court order).  I don’t’ know why this stuff bothers me so much but every time I hear women using pregnancy or birth as an excuse to treat their husbands like a second rate citizen it makes me so angry.  If you don’t like your husband don’t have a kid with him, heck don’t stay married.  Your relationship will be much improved if you just admit the child and the marriage belongs to both of you.

Proof God is Real

Today’s blog is really like a double feature at the Cineplex.  Although the topics in this double feature are not related in any way, they come to my attention today.  So here goes.  I have proof God is real and I am today going to share it with the world.  Please do brace yourselves, you non-believers and those of you who do believe, please get your smug vindicated faces ready.

Part 1
 Last night before I went to bed I prayed to God and said this,” Lord mentally I’m wiped out I haven’t slept in days.  I’m just not sure we’re all going to make it, if I don’t get some sleep.  My daughter is feeling my anxiety level rise which is stressing her out too please God let us all get a good night sleep.”  Now fast forward to present time as I write this it is 2 am and my daughter has slept calmly for 6 hours.  This is not her longest record, but for the past few weeks she has only been able to sleep for 45 minutes at a time.  Tonight's sleep cycle has clearly been a gift from God to stabilize my mental health.  Thankfully there were no drugs needed (who knows how babies react to Ambien or for that matter sedatives).  So there it is, proof that God is real.  I hear you naysayers but I prayed and something happened that seemed impossible.  So I have to say I’m pretty sure this was God intervening.

Part 2
There is a mom on my birth blog whose child has shaken baby syndrome (evidence points to her husband).  The baby was removed from the home last June and put into foster care.  This woman didn’t know her husband was abusing her daughter and has since filed for divorce.  What I wanted to actually comment on is the fact that the state has still not given this woman her daughter back.  She was shown not to have had anything to do with the abuse and did everything asked of her and still she can’t seem to get her daughter back.  There is no reason this baby should not be returned immediately once the police cleared her.  Within 24 hours, she should have had her baby back.  But no, she still has to go to court and plead with a judge and hope he gives her daughter back. Her lawyer fees are so high that by the time she gets her daughter back she won't be able to pay to take care of her. This to me is appalling, a baby should never been kept from its family for no good reason.

Mommy and Me

After the traumatic experience I had birthing my daughter, I was not really sure I would ever bond with my daughter.  I thought I would magically bond with her and we would be blissfully happy evermore.  Well the reality is that I do love my daughter, but I am really struggling with believing she loves me.  I know that she needs me.  I even think she likes me.  My problem tends to start because I think that she would like anyone who fed her, played with her, and wiped her bum.  I don’t think she actually prefers me over anyone else she knows.   She is not one of those babies that cries the moment she leaves my arms. She doesn’t even really seem to notice as long as someone is holding her. Sophia’s first smile was not at me, it was at my mom. The same goes with holding her arms out to be held, she never does this for me to hold her.  If I’m holding her she will hold her arms out to go to someone else. I feel pretty justified in thinking that my daughter could really care less who takes care of her as long as someone does.

 My husband says this is really just my personality.  That is probably at least partially right.  I am the type of person who just assumes people don’t like me.  Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t like me, I do(I like me a lot I won’t bore you will all my great quality’s but there really are a lot of them.).  I have just never been one to make friends easy.  I think part of the problem is I am mainly indifferent toward large quantities of the population.  It is a rare thing for me to actually like someone genuinely (I am great at pretending to like people. I consider this a good quality.) and want to be their friend.  The people I like, I really like and I tend to be a very loyal friend.  I just don’t seem to make that many friends.  I’m lucky I found a man I liked.  I never actually thought I would get married since I hadn’t met a man I thought I could stand for very long.  Well I got lucky with my husband and I thought somehow that it would be the same with my daughter.  Here we are 4 and half months later and I’m still struggling to believe that my daughter loves me (I keep hearing it will come, she is to little blah, blah, blah. I have to say this sounds like a bunch of crap to me. She is not to little she seems to bond with everyone else.).  

The only consolation I really have is that at this point in time I have the happiest baby I have ever met. The doctor is very impressed she is meeting all her mile stones at age level without them having to be adjusted for her being almost a month early. So I guess all in all I don’t really have anything to complain about if she doesn’t love I guess that’s alright as long as she’s happy then she’s got the best I can give her and that’s my goal. But, I can’t wait until the day I look into her face and feel that she is really truly mine; and that she loves me and knows just how much I love her. I hope that day is not too far off.

Grumpy

Today I think I work up on the wrong side of the bed.  I wasn’t in a bad mood, just feeling grumpy.  I find this strange since my daughter actually managed to sleep a little last night (she hasn’t really done that in 2 weeks).  So I was fairly well rested.  I didn’t even get out of my pajamas until after 8.  Because of my grumpiness I decided I was going to get out of the house,  obviously driving an hour to see my parents is a good idea (my daughter HATES the car).  We were out of the house surprisingly quickly for a trip that was only semi planned.  I had planned to visit this week, but I was thinking Wednesday would be better (I try to do very little on Monday).  The drive was great.  My daughter was awake but playing with her toys the whole time.  That was a miracle!  We get there and still I’m feeling a little off.  I’m just not feeling my usual chipper self (you say bitchy I say not chipper they really are the same if interpreted correctly).  Our visit was great Sophia never naps outside the house and chose to take a nap at my parents.  The drive home was a bit rough, but really not as bad as it could have been.  All in all it was a good day so I have to wonder why the heck I am still feeling so grumpy.  Hopefully tomorrow I will feel much more like myself.  I think I will just blame it on a case of the Monday’s.

Midnight Snack

I hadn’t planned on starting my daughter on solid foods until 6 months.  Recently, I have been feeding her every hour which is getting tedious to say the least.  She doesn’t sleep through the night anymore.  She fusses and cries which doesn’t help me get my sleep (which you know from my previous posts sleep is very important to me.)  In order to retain my sanity, I have decided to try solid foods.  Sophia is a fairly calm baby, needy but calm.  So she tends to put up with my antics pretty easily.  For example, today I thought it would be super funny to lash the dog to her car and see If he could pull her car around the house(it turned out not to actually be funny the dog just sat down and stared at me like I’m nuts.)  Sophia thought it was funny and well it could have been funny.  My dog actually weights less than my daughter which would have made it very funny to have him pull her around.  We have tried banana’s, a week or so ago just for giggles and it was pretty funny.  Absolutely no banana ended up in her mouth.  It did end up on me, the dog and everywhere else.  This incident made us think that we were starting way too early.  We tried again today and it seemed like things went much better.  We tried rice cereal and she seemed to take to it.  I’m hoping it will help keep her from starving so she can sleep again.  Here’s hoping

How to sleep like a man

Someone recently asked me how I was sleeping.  Of course I sleep horrible and have since I got pregnant (not that I slept super before.)  This got me thinking, why the saying is sleep like a baby when in fact my daughter sleeps horribly.  She wakes up all the time. She gets hungry in the middle of the night.  We are lucky on a good day she will sleep 12 hours but on a bad day she may only sleep for 1 hour at a time.  I want to sleep like a man.  I have honestly never met a man who doesn’t sleep well.  You never see men on those sleep aid commercials because advertisers know men do not have trouble sleeping.  I do know at least 12 women who have trouble sleeping.  In fact, I don’t know any women who would tell me they sleep well.  My husband can sleep through A LOT of noise.  Sometimes I make noise just to see how much he can sleep through.  I used toss and turn in bed when I was angry hoping to keep him from sleep, my own version of sleep torture, however for this to work I would have to be sleeping with a women or shooting my bed with and air cannon (neither of which is an option.)  I gave up on sleep torture for just now.  I don’t know how it is possible to sleep so well in any circumstance but if I figure it out I will sell the secret and make millions.  I have a few great test subjects so I’m certain that if anyone can solve this mystery it will be me.

Culture Crisis

On my mommy site today I read a story about an ER doctor who wrote a letter to Obama.  I guess the letter is floating around Facebook, but I hadn’t seen it.  Here is the letter for those of you who haven’t seen it http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/letter-to-obama-from-dr-starner-jones/blog-247997/

I have to say, it really touched a nerve with me.  I agree with the Dr. on many things, but the one I want to write about is how our culture seems to have changed so drastically in the last few generations.  So many parents think it’s some else’s job to take care of their kids and teach them things like manners.  This is not what the public school system is for.  I am often stunned at the lack of respect toward others.  No one seems bothered by someone who is always late.  I had a friend that I constantly had to lie to about the start of things because she was always at least an hour late to everything.  Now that I look back on it she was just rude with no concern about anybody else.  This type of behavior is running rampant in our society when did we become so inconsiderate.  

The whole reason I brought up the rude society was to make this point when we become so callus to other people and their lives is when it becomes okay to live on welfare or lie to get food stamps.  There are people who actually need these programs and it’s horrible to watch those people go without while people like this women the doctor is treating always seem to find a way to take advantage of the system.  More and more I think we should just suspend all social welfare programs for everyone for a year.  So we learn what taking care of ourselves and our neighbors is like again.  So we become a community instead of individuals who are out to screw the man, not caring that the man is your neighbor, your family and all those people you pass on the freeway going to work (if you work and not many people do these days.)  It was not that many years ago that a family in need could come home to see their neighbors had left grocery’s on the porch.  That would never happen now people are too selfish and that to me is a real culture crisis.

Coco Puffs

Life is full of choices my husband and I more or less decided to have a baby.  What I didn’t realize was really how many things that one choice affected.  I recently had to give away my cat Coco.  I loved Coco.  He was a gift from my husband for our first Halloween together.  I have been allergic to him since he got his adult fur.  I refused to give him up and I took as much allergy medication as to I could get my hands on to keep him.  Recently my daughter started showing signs of being allergic to him as well.  She started rubbing her eyes and sneezing every time he was near her.  We have another cat that we wouldn’t mind giving away, but sadly no one would take her but the pound (we just couldn’t do that no matter how bitchy she is) and no one is allergic to her so we really have no reason to get rid of her.  It hurt my heart to think Coco might be causing her as much pain as he caused me (its’ a lot).  In that moment I knew I would do anything necessary to make sure she was happy and healthy, even give up my beloved Coco.  I had fought giving him away for almost 7 years and in that one moment 3 months after my daughter was born I knew he had to move.  It was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make in my life.  I hand fed him because his mother abandoned him before he was ready to leave her.  He was my companion through the toughest and most exciting times of my life, and one tiny baby came along and somehow became more important than my beloved pet.  I knew I couldn’t just give him away to strangers, so it took me a while to decide what I was going to do.  I asked my mother in law what she thought I should do and to my surprise she said they would take him in and I would still have visitation with him.  My in-laws are very good to me.  I cried when I left him there and they told me to just think of it like he is at college, which made it a little bit easier to leave him.  I know in my heart that they will love him as much as I do.

My tiny Pterodactyl

Not long ago my daughter was a semi silent lump of a baby that did nothing but eat, sleep and poo.  She almost never cried, but she did make some crazy noises that had me saying I gave birth to a baby pterodactyl.  The baby books said she would be cooing, but what the heck does cooing sound like.  We weren’t sure (the books say a lot of things that we aren’t sure what they mean, we live in a constant state of confusion.)  In the last 2 months that has changed dramatically.  She learned to smile which made my heart melt.  She smiled for a while and just when we started wondering if that was the only trick she was ever going to learn her pterodactyl noises started changing into, you guessed it, sounds that actually sounded like coos.  A few weeks ago she started laughing, which is still sort of strange since it sounds more like a scream than a laugh but she is smiling so wide that we just assume it’s a laugh.  She has also started combining sounds and trying to mimic our words.  This is hilarious so we say things just to see if she will mimic them.  One of our favorites is hi, we also work on mommy and daddy but she is not getting those any time soon.  My husband has even made up the goo (she says goo a lot) alphabet which is every letter/sound with goo tacked on the end.  It’s pretty funny to listen to.  I have also started doing things which I’m sure make me sound like I’ve lost more than a few brain cells.  But it makes my daughter and I laugh, so who cares if my neighbors walking by think I’m losing my mind.  She is trying so hard to talk and she just loves it when we talk back to her.  I often wonder if she knows we have no idea what she is saying, or if she thinks we should learn her language. We always tell her this is America you should speak American (for all of you who are cursing me right now that was a joke lighten up. We do say that to her but jokingly, we know its English not American). I am working on just enjoying where she is but I just can’t seem to wait to hear her little voice saying words (she doesn’t need to learn them all just a few, the cute ones).

How did I get here?

Recently I have been thinking about where I was and what my life was like just a few years ago. 10 years ago I graduated high school. Not long after that I was at SDSU living it up with the best roommate ever (we had more fun than I can even remember.) At that point in my life, I had just started working on my dreams. Looking back it’s amazing to see how far my life has come. Little did I know how quickly things would change. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up, which led me on a path of discovery to where I am now (not really much further career wise, but I do have a degree in accounting that I use now and then.) I decided that after 2 years of college I wasn’t any surer about the future than I had been when I started. So I decided not to go back until I knew what I was going to do with my life. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with my career, but that is unfolding every day. I do know that I finished school (I have been eyeing the MBA/ Law degree program at UCI) and had a baby, 2 of the things on my bucket list. I still can’t believe that we had a baby. I still feel like I’m 21 and shouldn’t have a baby. I look at my daughter every day thinking what twit let me take home a baby. I’m young and still very irresponsible. My husband and I still like to spend weekends doing nothing, and then wonder why our house is a mess on Monday and we have no clean clothes for the week. Let’s hope we get better at pretending were adults before our daughter actually remembers the things we do. Looking back I feel like my life was leading right up to this moment and I can’t wait to see where things are going from here.



Mama Product of the Day:



I told myself I would never pay more than $50.00 for a pair of jeans, I was wrong. Since I have found NYDJ I have decided that paying more for jeans I look great in is worth it. I love these jeans they flatter me everywhere. My behind has never looked so good in jeans and they also flatten the tummy. There are a few different styles so try them on to find the one that fits best.

Shots

I took my daughter to the doctor yesterday for her 4 month well baby check up. I knew that she was going to get shots. :-( I know she didn’t realize it as we drove to the office but I did and I just wanted to turn around and go home, but I knew they would just call if we didn’t show up and make me feel like a bad mom so off we went. The pediatrician’s office is the best doctor’s office I have ever been to. They are all nice, never crowded and it’s always a very short wait to see the doctor. I’m wondering why more doctors offices are not like that. Anyhow we are in the waiting room and I’m holding her hoping there is a hospital emergency and the doctor has to go, but no never an emergency when I want one. We go into the room. I take all of her clothes off, they put her on the scale and all the other stuff they do. Then in walks the doctor and she just has that look like she knows she’s going to say something I don’t like( she knows I don’t approve of vaccines this early). So she tells me she wants everyone in my whole family and all our friends to make sure they get a flu shot. Is she kidding? I’m so against the flu shot. It’s not even funny. I have never had the flu and no one in my family has ever had the flu. My husband’s family is allergic to the vaccine. She looks at me as though I’ve sprouted another head and says well then your daughter will have to get the flu shot as soon as she turns 6 months. I say well I don’t plan on giving it to her because she doesn’t need it and on comes the lecture, about how she is going to get so sick and I’m going to be sorry (how much do doctors get paid to say this stuff.) All of this to say I can’t believe how much stuff we pump into our children’s tiny bodies at such a young age. I refused all of her vaccines until she was older so I know she is running behind but in my opinion her body was just too small to deal with all that stuff being pumped into her. I think we have gone way overboard with the vaccines. We don’t need a chickenpox one and a flu one. Pretty soon our immune systems are going to be so weak a cut could kill us. It’s ridiculous. Why can’t we wait until they are older and stronger? I also find it ironic that we do them so young, when I got older they tested my immunity to many of the vaccines I had had as child and found that most of them I was no longer immune to most so I had to get all my baby shots over again at 25. Babies are put through a lot. Thank God they don’t remember the crap we do to them.




Mama Product of the day

I just love True Blood so reading these books is a great way for me to unwind after a long day taking care of my daughter. They are a fun easy read and the author does a great job of immersing you into the world she creates.

Google my new Nemesis

The Google motto for those of you who don’t know is “Don't Be Evil" just thought that was ironic. Also interesting to note, is that the 6th point of the 10 point corporate philosophy of Google which says, "You can make money without doing evil.” But it’s much easier to make money by being evil just ask Bernie Madoff.

I should state first and foremost I hate being taken advantage of it makes me madder than almost anything else. When I started this blog I did it for 2 reasons the first because I like to talk and staying home with my daughter I don’t get to talk to many people, so I decided to write down what I was thinking about and share it with all of cyberspace (this way I can pretend everyone who reads my blog is a close and personal friend, I know its delusional but I don’t get out much.) The second reason came a bit later and it was to make some cash, granted not a lot of cash but some, so I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time writing this blog. I’m going to be honest my blog took off like a shot I didn’t expect things to start going so well for a few months but they did and I was ecstatic. Picture it, it’s Monday afternoon and I’m having a great day going to go out shopping and spend all that money I’ve made off my blog ( yeah I know it’s not in my account yet but it’s coming I just got my code in the mail and things are going great). As I’m walking out the door my phone dings indicating I have a new email. I’m curious although I’m thinking it’s just spam, but I get excited when my phone makes noise so I check. This is where things go downhill and quick. It’s an email from Google stating that I’ve been banned. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was so careful to follow all of the rules and there are a lot of rules. Even when I was curious about the ads on my page I never clicked them. I was floored that I got banned (not only did they ban me, they stole all the money I had made) I re-read all the rules and have no idea why I was banned. I hate that they don’t have to tell you why you got banned. They can just say we think you did something wrong so we shut you down. The conspiracy theorist in me says it’s a racket and they never planned to pay for my advertising. I’m really hoping this is not the case. I emailed them and have yet to hear back, but my guess is this is standard procedure for them and they have no intentions of paying for the advertising I gave them. I will keep you posted on what happens, but at this point my new view of Google is much lower than it was before. Which sucks since I used to be super pro Google down to my android phone? Hopefully Google with restore my faith in them but I’m not holding my breath. Let’s hope my next post isn’t saying I had to switch over to Apple. I hate Apple. Apparently Google’s motto no longer stands or if so it’s some bastardized version of it.

Daddy's View

So after talking to my husband it seems that men take this whole baby thing very differently than women. Men tell each other all the horrible things that will happen in apparently very vivid detail. As I said in my earlier posts I think the women in my life left an awful lot out when telling me what having a baby is really like. So I compiled the top ten tidbits from the males in my husband’s life.

1. You will not sleep for at least year. I’m guessing that this is going to be longer for me. Not only am I a light sleeper but I’m also full of anxiety. I’m thinking it might be 18-20 years before I get another good night sleep.

2. You will never again leave the house and if you do you will need a U-haul to take all your kids stuff with you.

3. Kids are very expensive it cost us 5000 dollars to have our daughter and that is just the tip of the iceberg.

4. When babies are born they have four states Eat, Sleep, Poo, and Drool. Yep this is true our daughter does them all. Although the older she gets the more she ads to her arsenal which makes her a lot more fun to have.

5. Babies spend Lots of time screaming. This one we have not actually experience our daughter is chatty but almost never makes loud noises. Thank God we hate loud noises. We hate loud noises so much, before we bought our house, we tried to buy one in a retirement community because they would be quiet and never bother us.

6. Everything is about baby. This is true babies steal the spotlight but that’s okay I get a lot of credit for making an adorable baby.

7. You will never have hobbies again. All the parents I know have their own hobbies and now and then ignore their children to pursue them. Even now we throw the baby in her swing and play video games (it’s not like she will remember.)

8. They will grow up and move out, only to move home again. This is actually true. The only person I know who has never moved back in with their parents after moving out again is my husband. Although we always tell his parents we are moving in with them one day very soon. They have a much larger house than we do and it is always stocked with food and drink, also they have a private pool which we like. So look out in-laws this weekend might be the weekend we show up with all of our stuff.

9. They steal your stuff. One of my husband’s friends has 3 kids and every one of them steals his stuff. I’m not always sure they even want his stuff, they just like pushing his buttons.

10. You have a lot less sex. This I also heard a lot and I think this is a personal choice. So many women I talked to decided once they got pregnant they would stop having sex with their husbands and still have not gone back. This seems to differ greatly from couple to couple.

Can you imagine if women said these things to other women. I certainly cannot. But this is the reality of my life now although the number ten is moving back up since we are sleeping better. My husband works with many men who now have teenagers so we hear many horror stories and are dreading the teenage years.



Daddy product of the day:

One of the things we do most now that we have a baby is take photos of EVERYTHING so this comes in handy. This card is high speed which allows you get more pictures fast!

PNY Professional 16 GB Class 10 Hi-Speed SDHC 20MB/s 133x Flash Memory Card P-SDH16G10-XLR133-EF (Black)

I miss sleep!!!

When I had my daughter I was in the hospital for 3 nights, I thought I didn’t sleep well because every 2 hours the nurses would come in to check on us. Then we came home and I found that my daughter wouldn’t sleep in her cradle or in any of her beds. The first few days, she would only sleep if we were holding her. As she got older she would sleep, if we were next to her. This was exhausting. I’m not a great sleeper to start with and babies are loud sleepers. When she first came home her breathing was erratic, which is apparently normal but still very scary. As time went on we came up with a system where one of us would stay with her, to keep her quiet and sleeping while the other would try to get some much needed sleep. This was tough on our relationship we were missing the connection we shared before we had our daughter. We finally decided there had to be a better way. Not long after, we bought a baby swing and it has been a God send. We put her in it and for the first time she slept without laying on us. It was heaven. She started sleeping much better and we started feeling married again. Since then we have moved her into her own room and even into her crib. My daughter sleeps 8 to 12 hours a night and I’m still struggling to sleep. I’m a very light sleeper and she still makes a lot noise and even though she is in her room I can still hear her. My husband works really hard to make sure I get enough sleep but I’m still struggling with it. I can’t wait until I can get a full night of sleep. I really miss sleeping.

Mommy Police

Mommy Police: Why are you letting your baby sleep in her swing; it’s not good for her.

Me: What do you care, she’s my baby and I need to sleep too.

Mommy Police: Well I would never let my baby do that you’re never going to get her to sleep in her bed.

As this conversation is happening mommy police’s child bites another child and steals her toy. This seems to happen to me all the time. Someone who has a horrible child wants to tell me what I’m doing wrong with mine. I have one thing to say to all of these moms that think I’m doing such a bad job, I may be doing a bad job but you have a horrible child and mine is sweet.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that attending to my daughter immediately will make her spoiled. I just don’t care if she’s spoiled I can’t stand to hear a baby cry. If I ruin her that’s really my business. I have to deal with it. I always want to tell these women not to worry, I have bail money set aside for when my daughter does the unthinkable. Mind your own business and I won’t mock you when your child turns our horribly. Okay, I really will mock you but maybe not to your face.

Mandatory Sterilization

Who gets to decide how many children I have or when? Should we be able to sterilize people who can’t afford children? I recently started thinking about how many women I know or have heard of who have babies on WIC and Medicaid. I’m glad it’s there for people who suddenly need it. But I hate that so many people rely on these services for years, and continue to have children. Why should your neighbors have to pay for you to have more children and then we have to pay to feed them and educate them as they grow up. This makes me angry especially when I contemplate just how much it cost to have my daughter.
It cost me close to $5000 to have my daughter. My husband and I have to pay every penny; no one would help us even if we needed it. We would never even consider asking for help (unless it was from our families). We don’t think our neighbors should have to pay for us to have a baby. You don’t get a pet if you can’t afford to pay for it and take care of its needs. Why should you get a baby if you can’t afford to take care of it? It seems like so many people think it’s the tax payer’s job to pay for everything. When did this country turn into a mommy state? I pay 35% (taxes) on my income for schools my daughter will never go to because I want her to actually learn, medical care I will never use because I was taught to work hard and pay for everything myself, and never to rely on anyone to take care of me and my family. I’m frustrated that so many people think I owe them anything. I’m not an indentured servant I don’t owe you anything. It should be my choice to help you when you’re in need, not a requirement. I go to work to feed my family not to take care of yours. If you can’t afford children don’t have them, birth control is free USE IT.


Mama Product of the day:

We brought our daughter home and for the first few weeks we thought she was a good sleeper. At about 6 weeks we started noticing she would only sleep if we help her or let her sleep with us. This was starting to get in the way of our sleeping. when it got really bad and we were told to get a swing and we finally got one. We thank God for it every day since we bought it. My daughter loves this swing it fits well in our house and does everything we could ever hope for.

Death by Baby

One of the most devastating things I have ever dealt with is losing a friend; I don’t mean death although that sucks too. Whenever I have big changes in my life I notice the number of friends I have shrinks drastically. When I got engaged my very best friend  was not happy for me. In fact she stopped returning my phone calls and never wanted to hang out with me. She decided that she could no longer hang out with me because I was not interested in picking up men and staying out all night. Looking back I think our friendship was over a few years prior when I went off to college and she stayed home, but I didn’t know it then, in fact not only did I still think we were best friends I asked her to be my maid of honor. For some reason she agreed and in fact told me she would plan my bridal shower. The only trouble was that she never returned my phone calls so we couldn't plan things for the party or for the wedding. Finally I called her and asked if she wanted another friend of mine to help her out  with the party planning and that threw her over the edge. She ended our friendship right then ( can you imagine the audacity I had asking her if she wanted help I'm such a bitch. I can see why she didn't want to be friends with me) . Less than 2 months before my wedding I needed a new maid of honor who could get things done and quickly. Thankfully another good friend stepped up and my wedding was fantastic. I have spoken to my ex-maid of honor since and frankly I don’t think I’m really missing anything by no longer being friends with her, but it took me years to get to that place. Last time I saw her she was still the same insecure girl I knew in high school trying to get guys to like her by partying and drink and other things I’m sure I don’t want to know about. I tell you this story because I want to illustrate just how dramatically my life changes when I move on to a new stage of life.

Fast forward 5 years to 2009 I got pregnant and had hoped that this time I would not be losing so many friends. Also that I would not lose them in such a dramatic fashion, alas it was not to be. We waited a long time to tell people we were pregnant I don’t think we told any of our friends until I was 18 weeks along. At first all of our friends seemed happy for us and then things started going downhill. One of our friends said she had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years with no success we felt very bad because we had no idea she had been trying. Soon after she started fading from my life slowly at first, with excuses like I’m too busy to hang out or I have a family obligation. This quickly turned into no more contact no matter how hard I tried. I know what you are thinking this is much tamer than what happened the wedding and I say “you’re right but I have more stories that I plan to tell later on in this same blog of more spectacular exits from my life just be patient.” More and more I feel like I’m the titanic as soon as I convince people I’m great and that they want to be my friend my life circumstances change and they go running away from me like I’m a sinking ship. It doesn’t seem to matter much to them if they have a life boat or not they just want to get away from me as quickly as possible. Not long after I had my daughter I went to have lunch with 2 of my girlfriends I hadn’t seen them since just before I got pregnant because they were so busy and family issues. You know how it is when you don’t want to see someone you have the same few excuses that cannot be argued with work, family and prior plans. At lunch things were strained, they had both missed my baby shower for one of the previously stated reasons and neither brought a gift to lunch. Not that I needed gifts just that it’s customary to give them when someone has a baby. Well during the lunch they ignored me completely didn’t ask me about anything that was going on with me it was like I was eating alone. So I got my lunch and I was half way done eating it and they stood up and told me they had to leave, and walked out. I was stuck with the whole bill and have not heard from either of them again. I have gone back and forth wondering if this was because I had a baby of if this was just the fact that they were assholes who didn’t really want to be my friends in the first place. Well I’m just not sure so I’m chalking it up to having a baby.

Don't get pregnant if your not will to lose nearly all your friends.


Mama product of the day:

I love this pillow!! When I came home from the hospital i struggled with nursing. This pillow really helped with placing the baby where she needed to go to nurse. One of the other things I love about this pillow is its flat top. I used another nursing pillow that was round on top and my daughter had a hard time staying on the pillow.

Guns and Babies

Recently a post on my mommy site caught my attention. The woman was complaining that her husband owned guns(he owned them before they got married she stated in her post) and wanted to buy more, and she didn’t want them around her child. She went on to say that guns are horrible and should be outlawed. I have several problems with this women’s post.

The first problem I have is her husband had guns before they were married and asking a spouse to give up something they love is unacceptable to me(unless it's something like prostitutes or drugs). If the gun enthusiasm had happened later I feel she should have more say in gun acquisition. But, it didn’t and once you have one gun you might as well have 8 or 10. Owning more guns does not change the safety concerns. One gun or fifty if you use a gun improperly you’re asking for trouble.

My second problem with this lady’s post is that why is it just her child. It takes two people to make a child (my husband would be super sad if it didn’t). Both people then own the child just because you shoot it out your vagina doesn’t give you ownership. I own my dog and I didn’t birth him, his mother has no right to come take him back or tell me how to raise him. My mother birthed me and then abandoned me, she has no rights where I’m concerned. So I hate women that say things like that, it’s ridiculous. If my husband told me he owned my daughter purely because his sperm made her I would be furious, but I hear women say things like this all the time and it's just wrong. If the man is anything like my husband he pampered me while I carried our daughter. After she was born he was the first to change her diaper and still continues to change the stinky diapers because he knows I have to do it while he works. My husband does everything in his power to take good care of me and my daughter and I think it would be evil if I said, “Baby I know you love your Xbox but I don’t want it around my child it's dangerous so get rid of it.”

My third problem with this women’s post is that your baby isn’t going to accidentally shoot herself until she's 5 or 6. So having a gun in a house with an infant is actually less dangerous than having a big screen in your house. My daughter is more likely to get hurt by a falling TV then a falling gun. Now I understand many of you are thinking. No, this woman is not afraid of the gun falling on her child. She is afraid of her child accidentally shooting herself or someone else. Here are my thoughts on that. Your child acts the way you teach it to act. If you fail to teach your child to be safe, than they will be unsafe this means it’s your fault if your child gets hurt. If you teach your child to look both way’s when they cross the street they will. This will lower their chance of getting hit by a car. In the same way if you teach your child to properly handle or not handle a gun the likelihood of them getting hurt is much lower. Most gun owners keep guns and ammunition separately for safety reasons. they also keep their guns locked up in a gun safe. However you must actually practice what you preach, if you tell your child do not jump off the roof and then you go and do it. It’s not the houses fault your kid got hurt.

In my opinion guns are no more dangerous than the person using them, if you teach safety you get safety. Ultimately I think every American has and should exercise the right to own a gun, but in the end it’s your choice. If you do own a gun please be responsible and teach your child about gun safety. If you’re too stupid to teach your child how to be safe in the world, you shouldn’t have a child and hopefully your child gets caught in the evolution trap. The world doesn't need more stupid.